Blessed Giaccardo July 2011

BLESSED

GIACCARDO



We continue to read the spiritual diary of Blessed Timothy which extended over his whole life and listed the many movements of grace - or of temptation - he experienced. By this time it is October of 1917 and he has begun to work with Fr. Alberione and his young helpers. The war clouds are gathering over Europe but, if he was aware of that, it doesn't show in his notes. His thought is on "the one thing necessary," on his duties and on his relationship with Our Lady and the Divine Master.


Lord Jesus, what a distracted individual I was during my vacation! I had looked forward to an increase in piety, in zeal, in my spirit of sacrifice . . . and instead, O Jesus, what a disaster! I'm too lazy and superficial. I don't pray enough and, above all, my pride is ruining everything.


O Jesus in the Eucharist, O crucified Jesus, take me, press me to your heart. O Mary, my mamma, my Queen of Apostles, with my heart split in two with sorrow, with my soul and my spirit profoundly humiliated, I throw myself into your arms. Have pity on me, have pity on the souls entrusted to me, have pity on the vocation that you above all have obtained for me from Jesus because you love me so much. Split my pride, impress your humility on me, I appeal to you: make me small and humiliated at the feet of everyone. 0 Mary, that I may become holy first of all, then acquire a spirit of sacrifice to enable me wear myself out for God, for souls, for the Apostolate of the Press.


A few days later he writes:


The center of my spiritual struggle will always be my weekly confession while Holy Communion will be Jesus making me part of him to receive his life and not live any more my life. To this end I will direct also the daily Visit, the Stations of the Cross and all our devotions especially those concerning Mary. At least four times a day I will recall the Holy Communion of the morning by a spiritual communion and like St Paul I will try to have Jesus living in me by asking: what would Jesus and Mary do now?


As regards purity, I will be careful not to touch myself or the boys unnecessarily and I will limit my talks to them on the moral evil of impurity.


I will make all my great decisions - as I do already - as if I were to die shortly afterwards and I will not fail to meditate on the Last Things during the monthly retreat.


Every time I have the opportunity, I will humble myself and mortify myself and my life must be a life of humiliation and the cross. I will do this so as to be a victim for Jesus, for our group and for the Apostolate of the Press.


Later, he reflects on his daily life with Fr. Alberione and the other young people. It was not all that easy. He came from the seminary where everything was organized, where bells marked the different part of the day . . . and was = literally = catapulted into a totally different situation where you did what you could when you could, but rarely at the time required because the work was growing and jobs had to be finished at any cost. Moreover in the seminary there was a rather silent and sacred atmosphere, but under Fr. Alberione the atmosphere was full of youthful zest and a growing sense of accomplishment as other young people came along and the orders for parish bulletins and other publications increased. Blessed Timothy took a while to adapt himself to all this and it seems that the Founder gave him a fairly rough time. So he writes:


O Jesus, what am I doing in this House in which I am more a cause of ruin than a constructive element? I put myself entirely into the hands of the Theologian (= Fr Alberione) whom you, Jesus, have given me as a guide. I give over all myself in full openness, so as to receive and be formed entirely in the attitude and character which you, my Savior, desire to stamp on you work. I promise you a perfect obedience. I will do what you want and not get involved in anything else and I will do it with total love. I will study what is given me to study and will remain open to the method suggested as you wish.


With the others I will take my place as a normal member, learning what I can from them and giving them whatever I have to give, just as you, O Jesus, desire, Will I have to take a class? I will do it willingly. Will I have to polish shoes? I will do that just as willingly. I want to keep in myself and spread around me an air of harmony and of the greatest charity. So in the organization I will be life, not death. I will act, speak, counsel and help as an active, holy and true member. Finally, I want to live your life, O Jesus, as St. Paul did, live your life of holiness like him "that Christ may live in me."


O Jesus give me opportunities of humbling myself, of mortifying myself, of being a true victim to enlighten the world and make it holier with the Good Press. Sprinkle the work with sacrifices and crown it with martyrdom" (perhaps he had in mind his daily experiences!).


O my Guardian Angel, the most Holy Trinity, St. Paul, help me remain in this House to which my mind and heart are totally dedicated, in this House where you want me to live,and help me to be a member of it after your own heart, to help the Theologian and all the family. Help me to be a very good apostle of the Good Press. God calls me not to baptize but to evangelize (words of St. Paul in 1 Cor.1,17)


Much later he recounts how the Founder foresaw the eventual development of the work in terms of both men and women members. And he adds an interesting comment under the heading: Individual advantages>


The apostles of the Good Press will acquire the merits:
• of Religious because of their vows;
• of Priests for their direct work for souls;
• of Laity who work for Christian and social causes
Love of God and of souls will increase these merits and
their holiness will abound. How pleasant and great it is to
consume our energies for the Good Press!

(continued)