Blessed Giaccardo
On August 20, 1914, just a year before Joseph began his brief military career, the young Fr. Alberione had laid the fragile foundations of the future Pauline Family. We recall that he had heard the voice of God during his four-hour vigil before the Blessed Sacrament but for several years he did not know exactly how to respond. Then he became aware that the enemies of the Church were using - misusing would be a better word - the Press to stir up anticlericalism not only among the uneducated people but even among the younger and less experienced clergy. Suddenly the call of God became much clearer. Be it ever so humble, he would make an effort to respond with the truth to the lies circulating in the secular Press. And so he began his life’s work in some rented rooms, with second-hand machines and some pressroom operators who volunteered their time for a brief period to teach the rudiments of the trade to the two young men he had recruited to help him.
Meanwhile Joseph was in the Seminary making spiritual and intellectual progress on his way to the regular Diocesan priesthood but also beginning to learn that his Spiritual Director (Fr. Alberione) had some new and interesting ideas which he had in fact already begun to put into practice. The young student came to understand more clearly the urgent needs of the Church at the time and he saw that there was an alternative to ministry in the Diocese, Fr. Alberione did not invite any of the students to join him - that would have been very much out of line with his mandate to prepare priests for the regular priestly ministry - but inevitably his deepest convictions revealed themselves. In the course of his classes on Church history, he underlined the grave problems of the day not just in Italy but in many other nations and the need to find new methods of confronting them.
No one listened to these lectures with more attention and interest than Joseph. We know this because the young student was, we might almost say, an obsessive “diarist.” We have heard some modern writers described as people “who have not an unpublished thought.'” So, in a sense, was Joseph. His diaries - no less than eighty-plus copybooks and a multitude of other pieces of paper, go back to his seminary days and in many cases, give the story of the early days of the Pauline Family which Fr. Alberione certainly would never have written.
But mostly they give “the story of a soul.” Already on February 9, 1917, he wrote:
Thanks be to God and to Mary. I see with increasing clarity that this epoch of the Press can help the Church to triumph. 1 see that I am called to be an Apostle and my place will be in the Religious Congregation for the Good Press.
And on February 22, he wrote:
I feel growing with in me a strong spirit of prayer, of lively faith and of confidence in Jesus in the Eucharist, Former of clerics. I feel a passion for humility, for humiliations and for sacrifice
I see more clearly and I am much more impressed by my mission for the Apostolate of the Press and I feel more enthusiastic about it.
He has a number of similar references under this date but then come lines referring to his other great interest: spiritual progress.
Above all I feel the need to abandon myself to Mary, to humble myself, to purify myself. . . yes, my God, I tremble as I become aware of my pride ... I am afraid that my pride may impede your action in me, preventing you from forming me as you wish . . . and if that should happen, how much less good I might do. Jesus, I tremble at the thought that my pride might send me to hell. Will I follow you, Jesus, will I be faithful. . ? I trust in you and in Mary.
As the month passes, Joseph feels that he must speak to his spiritual director But he proceeds with prudence
Is God really calling me to the Good Press Congregation? At the natural level I am certain that He is. But it could also be that the Lord is preparing another way for me, something linked to the Press. It is a great work in the Church calling for extraordinary sacrifices.
But then comes a question with which he wrestled for a long time.
Does the Lord want me an Apostle first of all and then a Priest, or first a Priest and then an Apostle of the Press?
Apostle of the Press, but at the cost of renouncing priestly ordination or an ordained priest who will have the Press as his work? . . . Lord Jesus, give me clarity, information, the ability to renounce. These are your days and we are talking of your glory, of the Church, of countless souls, of my spiritual health. Give me your grace and if a miracle is needed, I ask you for it . . . Jesus, break my pride, I humble myself I cling to Mary. I ask your forgiveness for my sins and I trust you alone, Jesus in the Eucharist, Former of clerics, who died on the cross for me and for the Church.
His interview with the Spiritual Director was somewhat less agitated. Fr. Alberione felt that this young man would be one of his followers but in no way did he wish to impose anything on his conscience. He received him in a kindly way and let him talk. Joseph with great simplicity and a desire to know the will of God told him what the Lord had made him feel in recent months. He showed his understanding and appreciation of the new apostolate and mentioned his strong attraction to it.
But there was a problem. If belonging to the new Congregation meant renouncing the priesthood, then he would have to think again about the Congregation. He felt he could make any sacrifice but not the sacrifice of the priesthood.
Fr. Alberione was non-committal. Fie urged the young man to pray with greater humility and with a deeper sorrow for sin. In fact he knew that renouncing the priesthood was not the issue. The real issue was that Joseph should arrive at that total self- renunciation which is the essential condition if we are to accept the will of God in our lives and live it out faithfully. Joseph accepted this recommendation and even invited some of his special friends among the clerics to pray for the apostolate of writing he would later carry out.
The interview took place on March 4. Among his diary entries for that date we find Joseph writing.
I feel drawn toward the new Congregation but also drawn to the regular Priesthood. My mission: a Priest of the Press and not just an apostle of the Press. I renounce the Congregation rather than renounce the Priesthood and I will settle for a Priest of the ordinary Press. (Perhaps he means a priest who from time to time will write something). Am I fooling myself? I feel before God that I could not renounce ordination ~ everything else I can renounce . . . The Spiritual Director mentioned that ordination is the icing on the cake but it is not absolutely necessary. He didn’t convince me.
On March 7, he writes of his third conference with the Spiritual Director
I have moments of terror : the thought that my whole life might be a mistake, that I might not go where the Lord wants or do all the good he wants me to do — this thought terrifies me; so also the thought that I may ruin myself and not save all the souls that he has entrusted to me
Other paragraphs follow, showing highs and lows, discussions with Fr. Alberione, questions, doubts, and then a growing certainty culminating in this paragraph
O God, I thank You for Your light. I thank St. Paid, St. Joseph, my Guardian Angel, my Mother who obtained this light for me. Thank you for this most noble vocation of which I am totally unworthy; thank you for the extraordinary holiness to which you are calling me Lord. . . make me a a true apostle of the Catholic Press, for the triumph of the Pope, of the Church, of You, my Jesus, in individuals, in families and in society 0 Mary, my Mamma and my all, I am a part of you, you obtained this most special vocation for me and now you must prepare me for it, you must form the new apostles,
On May 17, after his visit to the Bishop to ask permission to leave the Seminary, he writes
The Bishop enquired if, should he not give me permission to leave, would I be prepared not to wear the cassock anymore?
I said I was firmly determined to follow this new vocation but was not sure about the question of the cassock
And, on May 25
The Bishop called me again and said that, if I intended to remain in the clerical state, I would have to remain in the Seminary... he added that with Fr. Alberione I would not be able to become the sort of priest I dreamt about. He also said that Fr. Alberione cannot not be sure that he is doing God’s will but, if I want to, I can go there and see what happens. And if I am not useful to Fr. Alberione I may lose everything. The Bishop also said he found me too excitable to be a journalist and that it looks like Fr. Alberione has hypnotized me. He pointed out that he is saying this for my good. ... His words made an impression and led me to doubt if my vocation was really from God and I almost began to regret that nice life I had had until I began to think of leaving the Seminary
It was a severe test - but only a test because the Bishop was more in favor of the new work than he revealed to Joseph. And so we find Joseph writing on June 4
Saturday evening the Seminary Rector told me that the Bishop had agreed that I could spend the summer vacation with Fr. Alberione and that would help me judge my vocation and when to follow it. The Bishop, however, made it clear that he still would not allow me to be a cleric outside the Seminary.
Meanwhile, however, Fr. Alberione had asked the Bishop to loan him a Seminarian to keep an eye on his boys during the hours when he would still have duties in the Seminary. Not surprisingly, Joseph was chosen and so he tasted Pauline life for the first time while remaining dressed in his cassock!
~Concord September 2015
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