Master, I Want to See...

A Reflection on Jesus and the Blind Bartimaeus

Mk 10: 46-52

“Master…I want to see…”

This is the cry of the blind man, Bartimaeus, as Jesus passes by on his way from Jericho to celebrate the Passover in Jerusalem.  Everyone keeps telling him to be quiet, but he won’t be quiet. He wants desperately for Jesus to notice him. He wants desperately to see…and he knows Jesus can heal him of his affliction.  Jesus rebukes those who are trying to silence the blind man and asks what it is Bartimaeus wants of him.  Bartimaues replies:

“Master, I want to see.”

In the passage, we are told that Jesus says: “Go on your way. Your faith has “saved” you.”  “Saved”, not healed. While Bartimeaus does receive his physical sight, the impression is that, because of his faith, he may also have been granted spiritual (in)sight.  He already believes the Divine Master is the Messiah (He calls Him the Son of David).  When he is healed, he follows Jesus. Maybe now he “sees” even more clearly Who Jesus really is and he see no other course of action. Where else would he go? What else would he do?

In reading this passage, and in listening to it at Mass this morning, I wondered:  How many times have I been blind and asked for help? God has undoubtedly helped me to see more times than I can imagine, but what about those times that it seems like he says no and I remain floundering in the dark or in the shadows of half-known and half-understood situations?  The reason for this could be that God thinks I will benefit from remaining unable to see clearly for a time, or it could be that I do not ask with the unconditional faith of Bartimeaus.    He is willing to do whatever it takes to be healed. 

I cannot always say the same.

I may pray earnestly, and may even be able to brave ridicule and hostility to ask for what I want.  The obstacle may not be there, but in my own fear.  If I am able to see, if the Divine Master returns my sight, I will have no excuses. I will have to act upon what I now am able to know and understand.  I can no longer claim ignorance. That can be frightening—and challenging.  What will I have to change, now that I can see? What will I have to give up? 

Jesus, my Divine Master, please grant me the great gift of the courage and faith of Bartimaeus, that I may knock, and seek, and ask, without fear, and then grant me the courage, love and gratitude to follow you without hesitation.

You ask me what I want.  Jesus, my Divine Master, I want to follow You always and everywhere but in order to do this, I need to see.

Master…I want to see…